regrets

sorry that this post is a bit gloomy. i just have to get it out of my sistem.

have you had any regrets in your life? some people says don't have any regrets while you're still young. it's going to be a hilarious story when you look back to that particular moment. don't get me wrong, i totally agree to that. but that will be in the future. but for now, it's like your in hell and you can't get out.

maybe i have to tell you why i regret my decision. i regret changing my research place because some of my friends told me how amazing those place was. i regret believing that one particular NGO could help me with my research (fast). it seems those kind of regrets swirling around my head like a stubborn mosquito. what can i do to make it go away? well.. i have to live with it, my own decisions. i can't keep blaming everybody, and i can't keep blaming myself. it's just so damn hard to do. every time i went to campus and my friends already prepping for their graduation, i envy them. i always felt like screaming on top of my lungs. i thought all of those thoughts will be gone in a couple of days. but hey, they're still here. it's been a month now. and the worst thing, my laziness just make it worst.

and now i don't have anything to do until the end of September. well nothing too important for my future that is.

I FEEL SO DISCONNECTED.